Scholars believe that ancient twit lit originated independently among several cultures around the world during early antiquity, roughly between the 10th and 3rd centuries B.C.

Of course, appearing several millennia before Twitter, early twit lit was hand-carved into dense stones, which were then hurled around between members of the literate public. This sadly led to countless reading-related injuries and concussions, which were vastly more painful than the minor paper cuts and tension headaches of today.

Eventually, softer writing surfaces were invented, including animal-skin parchment and flattened sheets of papyrus. A major technological revolution around the 2nd-century A.D. led to a newfangled form of pressed cellulose fibers which became all the rage among the so-called PAPER-MILLennial generation of the time.

These MILLennials were often criticized by their elders, the Bronze-Age Boomers, for always writing things down so much and spending way too much time playing around with their fancy scrolls. In reality, the actual issue was that MILLennials just had way better handwriting and the Bronzers were completely pissed they’d wasted so many hours of their own lives hacking clumsy letters into shitty woodcuts using dull daggers. Anyways.

The invention of paper led to twit lit being sent around the world by carrier birds, mostly ravens and pigeons, though the occasional haphazard turkey was seen trying to hop along the countryside as well.

What’s that? Speed it up a bit? Gutenberg printing press! Industrial revolution! The discovery of electricity leads to widespread use of the telegraph machine. After telephones come about, a lot of folks used their landlines to tell some pretty boring stories that often lasted for hours.

And all of that brings us to the digital revolution when twit lit classics finally found the home that it had long sought: A series of books?!

Oh yeah, we’re also on social media.